So today was "one of those days"! :/ You know the, have yourself a pitty party kind of day?! ughhh. Those days are no fun...and they come out of no where and you can't control the way you feel! I just felt ugly, fat, and like i couldn't accomplish anything. So i went to my Weight Watchers meeting and decided not to weigh-in (which i ALWAYS do no matter what) because i knew that i gained and i would just be more depressed and mad at myself. But i am so glad i went to the meeting...it kinda got me out of the slump (even though i still didn't feel like being happy and fun with my clients the rest of the day haha) and i got a big hug from my amazing leader :) i KNOW that i can accomplish my goals...it is just going to take hard work and dedication and not just my half butt trying i've been doing lately ;)

So i felt like i needed to start my blog up again. It's going to be kinda boring haha. I am going to post pictures and write what i ate each day with the points + and any good finds i find :) I need something to keep me going and give me that push! So...To read it, or not to read it...that is the question! ;)

Today's menu:

(b) Chocolate pure protein bar [5 p+] it's my go to meal now when i am in a rush, but need to eat something. Surprisingly, they are really good and don't have lots of sugar like many protein bars have.

(l) In-N-Out cheeseburger [13], french fry [11], and 2 diet cokes [0] [24 p+] Yea, like i said, it was one of those days and i just needed this! haha. but i am counting it! :) seeing my niece and nephew and sisters brightened my day up.

(d) 4 oz balsamic glazed chicken breast [6], 1/2 C white rice with chicken broth [3], roasted asparagus [0], 3 pear halfs [0] [9 p+] Thank you marmy for a delicious dinner! i came home from a long day at work with this lovely dinner ready to eat.
Total: 38 p+

I just went over by 1 p+...so i have 48 p+ extras left for the week.

And no exercise for the day :( Tomorrow morning i will get something done!!

5 MILES! ...nbd ;)

This morning we woke up at 6:30 to get ready for our fabulous hike at the "Claremont Wilderness Trail". It's a 5 mile hike with about 3 miles of it up hill. We like it because they post .5 mile markers along the way, the trail is wide and kept up nice, there are lots of friendly people walking by so you feel safe, and the nature/birds chirping are so pretty! We definitely had to stop at several points...but we finished in about 2 hours (and that was even with stopping for about 15 minutes at the look out point and stopping for pictures...hello! gotta take those!) As we were walking up the trail we kept getting multiple groups behind us, because of our slow speed ;). So we just gladly let them pass: 1, because we hate having people behind us and 2, they would have such loud conversations we couldn't hear the pretty background sound of nature. Isn't that the best part of hiking?! Overall it was a great hike and we felt so amazing in the end...with our super sore legs and all!

We are hoping to make this a weekly tradition ((well, atleast while Jonni is home for the summer!))

Here are some pictures for your enjoyment! We also took 2 videos to show our lovely phat chick lovers...but we can't get them to upload! boohoo. So we will post them later if we figure it out :)

Overview of the trail...

Near the end...

at THIS beautiful spot...
the pictures don't do it justice...

look out point...

i'm a strong/powerful lady! haha...

woo hoo! we made it...
at about 1.5 miles...

YELLOW flowers...jonni's fav!...

starting up the hill...we be excited!
Now let us leave you with some inspirational lyrics from Miley! ;) They seem to fit in perfectly with our hiking theme. haha.

"There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb"

I wish i had a creative title :)

...but i don't! and i honestly don't even really have anything to say. BUT i did just happen to go back and look at one of our very first posts with our "before" pictures....and WOW! i feel like i haven't lost very much and changed, but looking at those pictures makes me realize that i have, indeed :) yay...slow and steady does win the race. i can't wait to do another photo shoot with miss J in a few months and compare the 2!

Anyways, i know that we totally neglect this blog...and i am not going to promise that i will start posting faithfully anytime soon :) but a girl can try! i have been trying to make healthier food choices because, heck, i want to win that $300 for our Biggest Loser competition! but it is soooo hard! does anyone have any favorite healthy recipes they would like to share with me?! maybe i will try one of them and take pictures and make a post about it. OH! and i use to always say that i hated fish, but i was brave and gave it another shot and surprisingly i really enjoy it! it has become a staple meal in the clark household.

ok, this is a very scattered post. hope you are all doing well!! maaaaybe you will be lucky and see me back here this week :) but don't hold your breathe (you may just die haha)

ta ta...TAY!

mind over matter

if you were a part of our family at the moment, you would be in a weight loss frenzy. Taylor and I had an amazing idea to do a family biggest loser this year. now, we have tried this many years and we have never actually stuck to it. in fact, if my memory serves me right, we have never even gotten so far as to actually put the money into the winner pot. but this year, the 2 phat chicks were super dedicated!!! at first, it was going to be just me, Taylor, our 2 sisters Ally and Lauren, and our mom. we were each going to put in 20 dollars, which made the winning prize be 80 dollars! that was pretty exciting to me, being a poor college student. but after my mom posted something on my facebook wall, one of my cousins saw and wanted to join...lets just say that 15 people later our prize is now $380!!!!!!!!!!! needless to say, everyone is now super motivated and at least personally the only thing on my mind is how i can lose more weight. we are all very excited and cant wait till the first weigh in, to check out all the competition ;] it is going to last 6 months, with our final weigh in being june 14. while i know its a long time, i have full confidence in everyone, and i know that by the end of this everyone will be very happy with the results!

for me, i want to lose weight so badly, but it has never worked out for me. i have slowly lost some weight as the months pass, but nothing big and barely noticeable. but whenever i really try, i can never seem to stick with it, or never seem to see results. so if i wanted to lose weight this time, i had to look deep inside myself and really ask myself why i never could before, and think of a way to change that. as i was walking to the gym i was having an internal conversation, just like i always do haha, and i was thinking about the end results of the competition and thinking about working out. and i thought to myself, i cant really do this, i will never be able to actually lose weight, ill always be that chubby girl who is not confident and self conscious. it was then that i realized why it has never worked for before, i never truly thought i could lose weight. but something like that is really hard to just change in a second. but i knew the only way i could change it was through the help of my Heavenly Father. when i'm not confident, when i look at myself in the mirror and hate the body i see, He is thinking the exact opposite. He loves me no matter what i look like, and he knows everything i can accomplish if actually try. when i look at my body as something i hate, i'm sure He is disappointed. My body is something divine, and given to me by God and when i don't see it like that, i am not achieving my full potential. i have not been taking care of this wonderful gift i have been given, and i need to change that. so in stead of thinking i could never achieve my goals, i started saying a little prayer. it went something like this "Heavenly Father, please, i need your help. i cant do this by myself, and i feel like i never will be able to. i want to love my body and see it as gift from you. please help me to be grateful for everything i can do, and the things i take for advantage, and please let me see my body as the divine thing it is". when i went to the gym and got on the elliptical machine, i looked down at my legs, and saw the way they moved without effort, and thought of the muscles that pulled them. then i looked at my arms and the way they pushed and pulled through the air. and then i thought of all the amazing things bodies do, the way our hearts pump blood through our body, and lungs breath in and out. i felt my body warm as i worked out, and realized how my body was reacting to the work. and i became instantly grateful for this body that can move and take me places, and think, and function so wonderfully, all without my thought. that night as i can home, i looked in the mirror and i loved what i saw. my body didn't change in one night, and while i still saw how much i have to loose, i looked at the beauty of it and was completely happy with my self. now, there is no doubt in my mind that i can do it, i WILL loose weight. i WILL eat healthy. i WILL exercise and get better. it may be a slow process, but i am ready for it. i will no longer treat this body like crap, and will treat it like the gift it really is.