Thursday, April 19, 2012

making the commitment...

Being overweight is HARD! You always have negative feelings and thoughts towards yourself..."You aren't beautiful." "You are never going to be at your goal weight." "Don't try that; you're going to make a fool of yourself because of your size." "I don't even know why i have a crush on him, he could never like me." "Shopping sucks, there are never any cute clothes in my size anyways." and MORE! I know it's not good on me emotionally, and i try to change my mind set to more positive things...but that is way easier said then done!

Why is so much of our world based on what you look like? There are so many wonderful women in this world who think they suck because they don't measure up to the worlds standards of "beautiful" or the perfect woman. I fall in to that ugly trap as well...and it is sad because I know inside I am an amazing woman...I make people happy, I'm a good listener, I have a strong testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, I care/love for others, I am good with managing my money (silly, but true), and I think overall I am a strong women with a great personality! But sadly, the world does not seem to care as much about that stuff. You really are judged on your appearance...and let's be honest, I catch myself being the same way with others and myself. I just want to feel comfortable and confident in my own skin. I am sick and tired of being FAT!!!

Sometimes i feel so sad and lonely when i think about being fat my whole life. But you know what Taylor, you can do this! You have made other commitments in your life that have made you a better person...and you can commit to getting healthier! Honestly, when I commit myself to something, I stick with it...I just have to truly make the commitment. It wont be easy...but let's be honest, nothing in life is easy! AND, I know I can get help from my family, friends, weight watchers, online stuff and most importantly my Heavenly Father. I have to include Him in this journey! He knows me best and ultimately just wants me to be happy :)

Taylor, today you are making that commitment!

"You are strong, you are beautiful, you are worth it!"
{words I came up with that I will repeat to myself every day...until I truly believe them.}

I can't wait to see how I progress...because I'm going to :)


(p.s. This was a journal entry I wrote to myself. That's how I want my blog to be...journaling/my thoughta)