My life lately (but barely, really) according to my instagram pics...

 This girl went back to school at BYU. Miss her! 

Trip to San Fran/Berkeley. I've missed this pretty lady! :) 

Fishermans Warf with the sisters.

For a while i was trying to eat "clean" and so i made my own bread. yum!

new nail polishes. 

backyard dinners/hangouts.

shopping with the sister.

my 24th birthday.

i LOVE eggs. sometimes i try to eat breakfast. 

started crossfit. post workout tomato face. it's HARD!

i got BANGS :) it's been a good, fun change. 

LA County fair with the niece and nephew.

hanging out with this cute girl :)

beach days and beautiful sunsets. 

So I have been eating HORRIBLE lately...like right before this i ate chili cheese fries and a fosters vanilla ice cream cone bad ;) but i am looking forward to setting goals for myself and hopefully finding some motivation again!!

OCTOBER GOALS

1. limit my eating out to once (lets be realistic here;)) twice a week.
2. crossfit atleast 3 times a week. 
3. write my food down every day. (not even calorie counting. just writing down.)
4. use my new bike one time a week. (it's really weird going from a beach cruiser to road bike)
5. start using a calendar to stay organized. phone or paper? that is the question :)

making the commitment...

Being overweight is HARD! You always have negative feelings and thoughts towards yourself..."You aren't beautiful." "You are never going to be at your goal weight." "Don't try that; you're going to make a fool of yourself because of your size." "I don't even know why i have a crush on him, he could never like me." "Shopping sucks, there are never any cute clothes in my size anyways." and MORE! I know it's not good on me emotionally, and i try to change my mind set to more positive things...but that is way easier said then done!

Why is so much of our world based on what you look like? There are so many wonderful women in this world who think they suck because they don't measure up to the worlds standards of "beautiful" or the perfect woman. I fall in to that ugly trap as well...and it is sad because I know inside I am an amazing woman...I make people happy, I'm a good listener, I have a strong testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, I care/love for others, I am good with managing my money (silly, but true), and I think overall I am a strong women with a great personality! But sadly, the world does not seem to care as much about that stuff. You really are judged on your appearance...and let's be honest, I catch myself being the same way with others and myself. I just want to feel comfortable and confident in my own skin. I am sick and tired of being FAT!!!

Sometimes i feel so sad and lonely when i think about being fat my whole life. But you know what Taylor, you can do this! You have made other commitments in your life that have made you a better person...and you can commit to getting healthier! Honestly, when I commit myself to something, I stick with it...I just have to truly make the commitment. It wont be easy...but let's be honest, nothing in life is easy! AND, I know I can get help from my family, friends, weight watchers, online stuff and most importantly my Heavenly Father. I have to include Him in this journey! He knows me best and ultimately just wants me to be happy :)

Taylor, today you are making that commitment!

"You are strong, you are beautiful, you are worth it!"

{words I came up with that I will repeat to myself every day...until I truly believe them.}

I can't wait to see how I progress...because I'm going to :)

xoxo.

(p.s. This was a journal entry I wrote to myself. That's how I want my blog to be...journaling/my thoughta)

after our hiatus that lasted far too long, we are back!! so this post will be from me, and i have a semi exciting story to tell all of you. ill tie into weightloss...a little bit. but come on, dont we all love a good story?! ok actually it wont be that great of a story, but thats ok.
So i go to BYU. if any of you dont know, basketball is a huge deal at our school. it was crazy last year becasue we had Jimmer, so everyone was obsessed. and im not using that word lightly. but this year, people still go crazy. and by crazy i mean that people camped out for 6 days outside the marriot center so they could get front row. we live in utah. its beyond freezing at night. it snowed yesterday. yet people still slept in tents outside probably getting hypothermia just to be close to the players. well those of you who dont know me well, i am not a sports fan. in no shape or form. so i have literally never been to a BYU basketball game. well drumroll please...I WENT TO MY FIRST GAME TONIGHT! it was a blast! the energy was so intense you could feel it coursing through your viens. it was crazy right from the beggining. they turned all the lights down, and showed this video on white cloth that hung all the way down from the center scroe baord thing. everyone was screaming, and i knew it was going to be a good game. our team is amazing people, just amazing. i was screaming and cheering right along side of all the crazy fans, and i felt like a part of them. except when things would happen that i had no clue what was going on, which happened quite often, sadly. but after a very intense game WE WON!!! but to be honest since im not a huge sports fan, the most exciting part was our free t shirt (we played plinko to get some apartments advertisment shirts haha) free pack of gum (also from those people) free yogurt land (my favorite place in the whole world, if BYU scored 80 points yogurt land gave everyone free yogurt) and a free pedometer (gave it to us as we were walking out after we won. oh and this is how im tying this story into weightloss hahahahah!) i love me some free stuff :) so then after the game was over we went to get our free yogurt (which is a little healthier than ice cream, so that kinda ties in too right?? haha), which was of course amazing, im obsessed with yogurtland. it was a great night.




well if you are reading this post, thanks so much for still being a chubby diaries reader! we promise to be better at posting! have a great week :)