Thursday, April 19, 2012

making the commitment...

Being overweight is HARD! You always have negative feelings and thoughts towards yourself..."You aren't beautiful." "You are never going to be at your goal weight." "Don't try that; you're going to make a fool of yourself because of your size." "I don't even know why i have a crush on him, he could never like me." "Shopping sucks, there are never any cute clothes in my size anyways." and MORE! I know it's not good on me emotionally, and i try to change my mind set to more positive things...but that is way easier said then done!

Why is so much of our world based on what you look like? There are so many wonderful women in this world who think they suck because they don't measure up to the worlds standards of "beautiful" or the perfect woman. I fall in to that ugly trap as well...and it is sad because I know inside I am an amazing woman...I make people happy, I'm a good listener, I have a strong testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, I care/love for others, I am good with managing my money (silly, but true), and I think overall I am a strong women with a great personality! But sadly, the world does not seem to care as much about that stuff. You really are judged on your appearance...and let's be honest, I catch myself being the same way with others and myself. I just want to feel comfortable and confident in my own skin. I am sick and tired of being FAT!!!

Sometimes i feel so sad and lonely when i think about being fat my whole life. But you know what Taylor, you can do this! You have made other commitments in your life that have made you a better person...and you can commit to getting healthier! Honestly, when I commit myself to something, I stick with it...I just have to truly make the commitment. It wont be easy...but let's be honest, nothing in life is easy! AND, I know I can get help from my family, friends, weight watchers, online stuff and most importantly my Heavenly Father. I have to include Him in this journey! He knows me best and ultimately just wants me to be happy :)

Taylor, today you are making that commitment!

"You are strong, you are beautiful, you are worth it!"
{words I came up with that I will repeat to myself every day...until I truly believe them.}

I can't wait to see how I progress...because I'm going to :)


(p.s. This was a journal entry I wrote to myself. That's how I want my blog to be...journaling/my thoughta)


Laci said...

Ya know what's funny Taylor? Just the other day when you posted that picture on FB with the pink lips and the curled hair, I thought to myself "DANG. Taylor is such a gorgeous girl!!" -and I mean that in all sincerity. I absolutely adore you and this blog, because it is so inspiring. I am on a journey myself, and I have had very little motivation until I signed up for a race. Now the pressure is on! LOL :) I'm still waiting for results, but in the meantime, its good to be in this "together" (virtually) and know that I'm not alone. I love you Tay and I truly think you are so so beautiful!!! xoxoxoxoxoxo

The Skousens said...

That is the hard part...seeing our true inner beauty and not allowing the world to overcloud our potential! You are beautiful Tay and you are an amazing woman...inside and out! You have come a long way and although it's been a slow process, look how far you have come on your own!!! I love you lots!

pollydove said...

I concur with both of these comments - you ARE beautiful inside and out! (Why is it in the black culture women are SO much more proud and confident with their curves and plus size?!)

I know it is so hard to stick to it on your own! Did you guys ever go try out for the Biggest Loser? That would be so awesome if you were on it ... you would definitely win the hearts of the television audience!!! xoxo

Emily said...

I couldn't agree more with the above comments. Esp. about seeing your pic with the hot pink lips! LOL! You have always been a gorgeous girl inside and out. I love that you are gonna repeat positive affirmations each day. Once you feel healthier and keep seeing progress, you will feel so amazing! Everyday I hope you discover that you have a great inner beauty and strength. Cuz, you do!!